Allow me to save you a trip to the comments section. Yes, there are bigger things happening in the world. There are more important things. There are many more urgent and more sinister things. And there are articles about those big, important, urgent and sinister things awaiting your attention all over this website and the internet.
If you’re still here, we’re going to fly in the face of all those important and urgent matters and discuss the perplexing development that is Meghan Markle’s Little Bo Peep tights. You have been warned.
Meghan has previously flouted convention by going bare-legged at a public engagement but the Queen prefers royal women to wear tights, at least that’s what former royal butler Grant Harrold told the website.
‘Wearing tights is what royal ladies do,’ he said, before adding that he was ‘pleased to see she has adopted this practice’.
The newly minted Duchess of Sussex was seen sporting the tights earlier this week at an engagement with Prince Harry, their first official one as a married couple, immediately prompting a flurry of urgent wardrobe analysis, the scale and scope of which was rivalled only by coverage of her wedding dress.
The Firm insists on nude tights at public engagements. It is a rule as unyielding as the ban on coloured nail polish, cleavage and cross body bags
Avid royal watchers will already be aware, of course, that The Firm, as Diana used to call it, insists on nude tights at public engagements. It is a rule as unyielding as the ban on coloured nail polish, cleavage and cross body bags, or the dictats that state two heirs can’t travel together, royal boys wear shorts until the age of eight and royal chins must be parallel to the ground at all times.
Said avid watchers pronounced themselves mildly troubled when, last year, Markle flouted the tights rule by appearing in her engagement photos with scandalously bare legs.
But now that she is a full member of the family, Markle is obediently getting to grips with the shudderingly sinister phenomenon that is the nude tight, or – as I’ve always preferred to think of them – tan tights.
However, if Meghan is sporting Heist’s 18 denier tights, then she’s nimbly avoiding the tell-tale sheen of so many tights brands.
Perhaps one is converted.
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